More Than Kindness
by allisfair101
Summary: Edward went to the last resort to deal with a horrifying loss: death. Little does he know that the consequences of attempting suicide do not go away in a moments notice nor a lifetime. Money, love, disease, deceit, it's all there! AH/OCC/AU/EB
1. My Mother's Room

_**Chapter One – My Mother's Room **_

**EPOV **

When I look in the mirror, I see someone other than myself. My piercing topaz eyes the only feature that stays uniform, as the rest blurs and distorts into a silhouette of my mother. It's almost funny how my eyes persist to deceive me in every way. Rapidly but subtly, my harsh jaw line softens and my eyes attain that certain glitter only mothers possess. Under the dim bathroom lights it's almost as if she's standing right in front of me.

The ache in my heart still feels fresh and brash, like it had been dappled by the marks of loss just a few minutes ago. But, truthfully I have been stuck with this growing feeling on me for years. I suck in a breath and smothered the flames as best as I could. I refuse to shed a tear; I refuse to believe that she is gone. She is still alive.

I left the bathroom and switched off the light. I walked down the hall, and knocked on Alice's door.

"Wake up! You are not skipping school again, I'm keeping my eyes on you", I shouted.

My sister Alice was fifteen and seemed to know how to break every single rule I set out for her. What more can I expect? After all, I am her eighteen-year-old brother, not the father she was supposed to have.

"Go away!" she muttered. I looked down at my watch, to only see that I was late for work. Whatever. I'm not responsible for her actions. She needs to know what it feels like to not have someone looking after her, needs to feel what I feel every moment and every second of the day.

I continued down our raggedy hallway gliding my fingers along the closed-in walls. My eyes followed across the worn carpet and to the beige door in front of me. The nooks and crevices so familiar to my eyes that I didn't even need to look to see, I could be blind for all I care and still _know _that door.

I closed my eyes and I felt it, deep within my chest, underneath the ache, burn, and hurting, it was all there. The need to open the door simply besieged me and took the life out of me. I stepped closer and grasped the golden knob with my hand, only to feel the coldness of it radiate throughout my body.

I did what I was supposed to do years ago; I walked in. Clothes were strewn across the floor, her makeup open on the mahogany vanity. Books, CDs, notes, pens, diaries, markers, her _glasses_, it was all still there. Everything was still in the places where my mother last left them, where her presence was last graced. My mother's scent was still lingering in the air, apples and homemade cookies.

In the corner of the room I caught a glance of a picture. A picture of her long bronze hair twisted in a bun and her smile as big as the photograph itself. Her arms were wrapped around my body, squishing me with all her force, like she could keep me forever. Suddenly, my heart starts to pound slowly and my hands grew sweaty. She was never here; she was never alive within me. She decided to leave and not stay back. Five years of pain, anguish, and bottled up anger slam into my body as I cried over my mother for the very first time.

My mother was really gone.

* * *

><p>Seconds, hours, minutes, it all seemed to blur together into a blob. Laughter bubbled to my lips, who needs time? Who needs anything, when one knows their true intentions in a heartbeat? And I am that one. I am that person, who distinctly knows what he is doing.<p>

So standing there before me was a train station. Neatly dressed businesswoman and men were rushing towards it. They were talking on their Bluetooths while walking with their confident stride, never missing a step. My jeans and polo shirt and slow saunter paled in comparison.

My heart, soul, spirit, was numb. I refused to allow rational reasons to enter my mind, let alone thoughts themselves. I reached the edge of the train station ledge and heard the nearby church bells ringing seven droning periods.

It was time.

The train hissed its way down its path, leaving no room for error or hesitation. I got down on my knees to only feel them dampen, while raindrops trickled down my face. My salty tears and the freshwater mixed together, I couldn't tell which was which. I used one of my hands as support and rested it on the ledge as I plunged down onto the surface of the train tracks. The heat of the train lights pierced its way through my shirt and onto my flesh, as it grew closer. I let my body freeze and got prepared to face my true and well-deserved end.

Time slowed. There were panicked screams and wild shouts as people realized where I placed my body. In reality I only moved a couple of yards across, but the intent behind the position of my body was clear. I wanted to die, and blatantly displayed it.

Just when I felt the rush of life about to leave my heart, I felt an arm reach out and grab mine. My first reaction was panic. _I want this to __**end**__. I don't want to live. _My mind was thrown in a tumultuous frenzy as my body was launched back onto the solid cement of the train station floor. I let out a growl as I realized that the train had stopped and opened its doors to let in passengers like it always had done. Like I never existed in the first place.

It was then that I realized that the hand was still clenching my arm.

"You! It was you! Can't you tell what I was doing? Can't you mind your own _**business**_?" I screeched.

My voice reached a tone of a level of fury that I never knew existed. I looked down to see that my fingers were accusing a blonde man with a cool, placid look plastered across his face.

"Just calm down and come with me", he replied as he tugged on my arm.

I fought and kicked and screamed. I looked around frantically to only see shocked faces staring at my crazed eyes. They witnessed the scene, the scene that revolved around _me_. God, I hated being the center of attention. But none stepped up to the plate and stopped the man. I was under his control and I had no choice but to follow him.

As I walked away from the train station one thought was clear: my one chance of doing something what _I _wanted to do was yanked out right from under me. Like it always has.

* * *

><p>I was taken into a toasty warm Porsche and was seated in the passenger seat next to the mystery man. That was when I decided to accept that I would not be dying today and looked up to assess the male before me.<p>

His eyes did not seem kind, but not cold either. He was dressed in crisp, fresh suit with his blond hair in coif. There were some lines and wrinkles sunken into his face that have marked him as a man who has been through thick and thin. However, that did not deny the fact that he irrevocably ended my plans for today. In an instant the anger and resentment flowed through my veins once again.

"What do you want?" I grunted.

"Actually young man, that is the question I should be asking you." His voice was smooth and confident. To the slightest extent he reminded me of my father, or what he once was.

"What?" My frustration and confusion was all displayed in that little word.

"My name is Carlisle, and you are?" He stuck his hand out as a friendly gesture.

"Edward. Edward Cullen. Not that you need to know"

"Actually Edward, I would like to know a lot about you." I was about to interject but he put a hand up as a sign to wait, so I obeyed.

"You see, I have been waiting to find someone like you for a while, but before I continue I would like to ask you some questions." His cobalt blue eyes looked into my emerald ones for approval and I nodded in response.

"You jumped in front of that train for the reason to end you life. But, are you still willing to die? Are you willing to die in a moments notice in the near or far future?"

"What the hell do you mean? Why are _you_ questioning _my_ actions? If it matters at all, then yes, I am willing."

Carlisle's stiff frown turned into a weak smile as he absorbed my words. "Now, Edward. What do you want?"

"Excuse me?"

"What do you _want_? There must have been several reasons behind why you planned to end your life today, but there must be at least one thing that you desire. One thing that you would do anything for, what is it?"

I was getting angrier by the minute. Who does this man think he is? Not a second ago did I know a single thing about him and now he's asking for my heart's deepest longing? Once the rage ebbed away the sadness seeped in. I chuckled manically-it has been years since someone asked me for what I wanted.

"My mother." I answered in a clipped voice.

"Is she in trouble? Where can I find her?" Carlisle asked in a hurried tone.

"No, she's dead" I said flatly.

Carlisle sighed, a heavy one too. "I am sincerely sorry for your loss, but I would like you to try again. Think about it Edward, I know its hard for you. For someone who wants to end his life there must not be many desires within you, but what do you really _need_ right now?"

I had to take a minute and comprehend the question he was asking. There was nothing right now that I needed but darkness to take over me, something told me that Carlisle didn't want to hear that. I thought back to Alice, how we sometimes had to struggle to survive. How there would be days where we had to skip dinner just to pay the bills.

"I need…money, enough to keep my sister and I alive. Enough to live, if that is what I am doing now."

"Now, I can arrange that. I'll pull some strings and arrange you a job, I'll supply you the money to pay your bills, and more. Anything you need help with, I will assist you."

"But why? Why are you doing all this for me? I am an eighteen year old who wishes to depart this life." I questioned.

"Edward what I am asking from you is a favor. I will return you this favor on one condition. If I am to call you in the next hour, day, year, or minute, and say that you must come over to my house and die, you should be willing."

"Why would you need that? Do you find pleasure in a suicidal death?" I asked bitterly.

"No, not at all Edward. But, I'm afraid that I can't answer your first question. The deal is a favor for a favor, in this case money for your life. Here, call me when you have made your decision." Carlisle reached into his suit pocket and handed me his business card.

"I will call, when I am ready." I whispered.

"Wonderful. Now, where do you want me to drop you off?" Carlisle's face went from serious to relaxed within a second, this man had some serious mood swing issues.

Nonetheless, I numbly gave him the directions to my small apartment knowing that I was not in a position to go to work. As the Porsche jerked with a start, my mind could not help but wander back to the black obscurity it had been cloaked in only moments ago.


	2. I Accept

_**Chapter Two – I Accept**_

**EPOV **

After Carlisle dropped me off to my apartment I couldn't help but feel irritated. That man was subtle and sketchy, why would I confide in him to help _me_? I shoved open the front door and spotted Alice's backpack in the living room.

She didn't go to school.

"Alice! You've got to be kidding me!" I screamed.

I ran to her bedroom door and opened it with full force. I frantically searched her room to only discover that she wasn't there. I looked around the whole apartment and couldn't find her anywhere, so I ended up knocking on the bathroom door.

"Alice, I'm serious you better open this door right now." I pressed my ear to the door and heard the tap water trickling, but no response.

"Alice? Can you hear me, sis?" I allayed my voice, knowing that she didn't appreciate me yelling. As the seconds ticked on, I grew worried. Why wasn't she opening the door? That was when I heard her soft voice murmur.

"Go away." She whispered weakly. Her voice was so frail that I knew something was abnormal, typically she would scream back. I banged on the door and flung it open to only find myself in absolute shock.

Alice was standing in front of the bathroom's misty mirror masked in sweat. Droplets of perspiration ran across her cheekbone. Her arms were leaning on the white sink, using its full support. Black tendrils of her inky hair twisted and were plastered alongside her cheek. I hadn't seen her so unkempt before. But that was not what sent daggers through my chest, it was what she was firmly clutching in her hand that took the breath out of me. Her pasty white fingers were twisted around a razor that was in close proximity of her wrist, her _bloody_ red wrist.

"Oh my god, Alice. What have you done to yourself?" Tears swam in my eyes, blurring my sight as I ran over to her side.

I cleaned her up and made her drink some water. As I tried to silence her sobs I laid her down in her bed. It was like she was ten years old all over again, her pale face was clear of all anger and all that was present was innocence. Her features were showered with pure, undeniable virtuousness and sadness.

Her liquid gray eyes and rosy cheeks were constant reminders of mother. Her voice. Her traits. Her morals. Every diminutive puzzle piece was a relentless remembrance of my mother. No matter how much it pains me to just at the very least glance at my sister, she's all I ever had and will have. Alice is now my life. I can't see her slip into the same ugly despair my mother was sucked into. I can't sit and look at her lifeless stares or watch her try to end her life without doing anything.

And then it hit me. _I _was going to do that to _her_. Only hours ago I was prepared to leave Alice behind and let her deal with grief by herself. Suddenly, the guilt flooded through my body. Not an inch of me was submerged in remorse or self-hatred.

There was only one thing to do to set this right. There was only one thing that I could give back to Alice after what I was about to do: a bright future. I will give her a prospect with life, beauty, and happiness.

I reluctantly left Alice's side and tugged my jacket back on. I left the apartment and raced down two flights of stairs. My hand subconsciously lifted my hood over my head to shield me from the pounding rain. However, the fabric was a useless barrier, I was thoroughly soaked within seconds. I ran across the street and to the nearest phone booth, my shaky hands hand reached into my worn jean pocket and pulled out Carlisle's business card.

I had to agree to the deal. It was the only thing I could give to Alice, the only thing I had left to hand out to her. I owed her this, after all that I was about to put her through. But most importantly she needs the money; I can't let her wither into a dying flower like mother had. I had to do what's best.

Without another thought my numb fingers slipped in two quarters and punched in the phone number, the actions were so robotic and peaceful that my mind calmed down slightly. After one short ring Carlisle picked up.

"Hello?" His voice sounded genuinely confused. I forgot that he wouldn't know it was me right away, he didn't have my number. I internally groaned at the thought of introducing myself again.

"Hi. It's Edward." I said, hoping it was enough to make him remember.

"Ahh. Hello Edward. What is it?" Carlisle questioned.

"I accept, Carlisle. I accept your deal." I hurriedly explained.

"That's good Edward. Well, I guess the next time you'll hear from me you will know exactly what will happen. Thanks for your cooperation."

With that he hung up the phone. His words were abrupt and straight to the point, it was clear that he did not have any reason to communicate with me, he only wanted his favor. As I put the phone back on its latch Carlisle's words began to absorb and sink into my skin, mind, and soul.

I, Edward Culled, had just signed my life away.

* * *

><p><strong>AN **

**Sorry I have not introduced myself in the previous chapter. I am actually very new to fanfiction and this is my first story.**

**I would appreciate reviews to tell me how I am doing so far. Thanks! **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own twilight.**


	3. All These Changes

_**Chapter Three – All These Changes **_

**BPOV**

When I think about the world as whole I can't help but feel aimless, restless, and self-conscious. There are people out there who know _exactly _what they want to be, what they want to achieve, and what their plans are ten years from now. Then you get people like me, who have no sense of direction, and are still choosing between two colors for painting their room.

Ever since I was little, I had always dreamed of a room full of light and elation. Only recently did I discover that maybe my white, bland walls were not helping that come true. So here I was in Home Depot with paint slips in my hand for a sunny yellow and a baby blue. I looked at both of them closely and opted for a quick eenie-meenie; turns out, the color yellow is the way to go.

When I pulled up to my house, or should I say mansion, I saw my father's car parked on the driveway, an abnormality especially due to his heavy workload. I opened the front door carrying the paint tubs in my hands as my weakness kicked in. My heart began beating feverishly and my palms began to grow sweaty. I wasn't supposed to be carrying heavy things, but I'm just so sick of being told what I can't do that I urged myself to walk into the house without a brief rest break.

I put the paint tubs down and looked up to only see a phenomenon. My father was leaning against the railing of the staircase with keys and a cell phone in hand. But that wasn't it. It was his face. It was filled up to the brim with a _smile_. His teeth were on full display and his deep laugh vibrated through the room and seeped into my mood, brightening it with joy.

It had been years since I have even seen him so heartily exultant, that I could not believe my eyes. It was then that I became aware of the fact that my eyes were bulging and I was under an unresponsive state due to complete, utter shock. I snapped out of it the second he began speaking.

"Hello Bella. Come here, I have a feeling things are going to be better around here. Your father is officially back."

I hesitantly moved a step forward as I gawked at his outstretched hands. Am I dreaming? I took one more and within seconds his arms wrapped around my body. It was like I was thirteen again. Things just came after another. I rested my head on his chest as he softly stroked my hair. It was like this past few years have never transpired in the first place. Tears bubbled to my eyes as I tried to choke back a sob.

"There now, why don't we get started on painting your room? I know you've been looking forward to it." His blue eyes gazed into my brown ones for the first time in a long time. I almost forgot how it felt to hold a conversation with him, let alone have eye contact.

"I'd like that," I whispered.

* * *

><p>Few minutes later, I was in my tenth grade blue overalls with a white tee underneath, my hair French braided and safely tucked away with a red bandanna, and my hands covered simple tan gardening gloves.<p>

Phase One: complete.

Phase Two: actually paint room with father (without breaking down while doing so)

Now, that was what you called a mission impossible. It had been _years_ since I had even looked him in the eye, now I would have to spend hours with him in the same room. Though, it is sad to say that my own father is a stranger to me, it was the comfortable thing for him to do at the time.

I bet his thoughts were along the lines of:

Ignore Bella and deal by myself.

Ignore Bella and act like it's no big deal.

Ignore Bella and things will move forward.

But, now he decided to change the way of life in a matter of seconds. How else was I supposed to respond to his forwardness with me? After all, I have been deprived of a father for four years. Though it is impossible to forget that hell of a time period, I can't help but forgive him. He's been through a lot, after all. _But, that should not be an excuse to ignore his __**daughter**__. _

I pushed my rational thoughts to the side and decided to go with my instincts. I opened the bathroom door to see my father, in my room, opening the tubs of paint on the floor. I silently walked over and picked up a roller, only to be scolded by my I-finally-realized-I-have-a-daughter father.

"No, no. Don't stress out yourself, just use a brush and work on the edges of the doors and switch pads."

My eyebrows scrunched together in frustration, I was capable of holding up a roller. I have the strength to after all, but I guess my father wouldn't know. He hasn't been around me much. To avoid explanations and hints to the "topic" I just sighed, a heavy one too, and complied.

A dozen strokes later and my mind was going crazy. The room was filled with unspoken words and tension crammed silences. I couldn't take it anymore. So I did the one thing I was a master at: babble.

"So, Dad, now that we are on speaking terms I just want to run something by you. I feel like I am not busy enough and waiting around a lot of the time so I decided to stir up my schedule a little. Know what I mean?" I threw a quick glance in his direction to see if he was listening and saw that he was nodding absently. Pleased, I continued.

"I was thinking of getting a job. I tried out the local supermarket, Rita's, even the Pet Smart over on route 28, but they straight up said they wouldn't be needing any more workers for the time being. So, I'm thinking about tutoring high schoolers." I paused, giving him some time to digest the information.

"What subject?" He asked curiously. I flinched in response; I wasn't expecting him to pry so deeply. This was going to end bad, my answer will only cause him even more discomfort. It will only reopen sensitive wounds and make them even more pronounced than they already are. But, if I were to lie it would only create bigger, more complicated problems.

"Physics." I mumble quietly. I peek under my arm to see his reaction to only feel my heart sink. His face was twisted with anger and he opened his mouth to speak.

"Physics?" He asked in a tone that implied that tutoring physics was the most inane thing a person could do.

"Yes, Dad."

He clenched his fists and dropped the roller dripping with golden yellow paint on the plastic sheets below. His eyes were distant and his mind was reminiscing, I could tell by the look on his face. Without another word he just left the room; my half-painted wall the only reminder that he was ever here in the first place.

* * *

><p>The next morning I went into the local Shop-Rite with a purpose. It's been so long since I actually had one in life, so I couldn't help but feel ecstatic. My hands were clutching a flyer. A flyer for tutoring, tutoring for Physics. The precise reason why there are miles between my father and I right now. Well, that is understandable.<p>

I march up to the bulletin board and pinned my ad to the board. It felt good to leave a mark behind. I stepped away feeling like something good will come out of this. But, knowing me, the exact opposite will surely ensue.

* * *

><p><strong>AN**

This story will jump POV's from time to time. But, mainly will remain in EPOV.

I know the story is coming off pretty slow right now, after all E and B didn't even meet, but it will come together soon.

And all the questions will be answered :)

PLEASE drop a review by so I can know how it's going. Thanks!


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